Sex and Second Life

This site is a true reflection of my comings and goings within the virtual platform known as Second Life, it is mostly my first person recollections of anything happening. Enjoy the read and do follow and share if you liked what you found

The Invisible sizes

The second life simulator is built upon the premise that you can be who you want, when you want and wherever you want, the imagination being your only limit, but there are times and places where -much like n real life- some sectors and communities in second life face discrimination from the same group of people that fight day to day to try and get equal rights.

In the wide array of lifestyles that make second life, there is a growing community of people who some people call “twinks” -One of my good friends Sora, in the picture with me being on this group-. They suffer segregation and as consequence are forced to have their own clubs, their own sims and their own cruising places, just because someone way back decided that the height cannon for avatars in second life for adults should range around 7 to 8 feet.

So when someone decides to create the person they want to be in second life, and choose to stick to realistic real life height measures -this being from 5.7 to 6 feet tall-, they are instantly called “kids”, accused of age play and asked to leave adult sims only accessible if you are age verified -Spurts and Hubs to name a few-, but where is the fine line between age play and someone just wanting to look “normal” according to human standards and simply refuse to lose their identity just because someone way back decided that 7 feet tall was the acceptable adult size for avatars?

When the person that is Spike in second life was born, I was assisted on height standards and shops to go to for the specific look I was going for, so being this tall is all I know, but sometime today I decided to experience what it felt like to be 6 feet tall in second life and what the reaction of people around me in popular gay places I frequent would be. We were both ignored, point blank; no one talked to us, approached us or even tried to discourage us from being around -this being mostly because management staff was not around, but that being the case I am sure we would have been asked to leave, as it has happened before-. I walked by a couple of “friends” at one of the sims and they simply pretended I was not even there.

I guess to be visible and respected in all sims, hence avoiding segregation, one must comply to certain height standards; a sad reality considering the LGTB community in RL and SL are the ones fighting day after day evils such as segregation, discrimination and other types of evils that are only fueled by ignorance and fear. So the gay community in SL that of the “tall people”, is inflicting this very thing on a growing community of people.

I chose who I wanted to be, so did they; I’ll wake up every morning and go to bed every night knowing I have done right by people, hence being an example to my two sons and my community, never falling on double standards that only work on my end. All sorts of people are always welcome to my club and sim, either if you are a twink, a furry, a neko, a fairy or just someone who thinks ugly is actually pretty, as long as you follow TOS and conduct yourself in a respectful manner while having fun.

9 comments on “The Invisible sizes

  1. Gregster
    February 3, 2012

    Spike, it's not to do with whether the avatar is short or not. It's to do with whether the complete picture presents someone who is underage or not. A short av with an adult skin will look like a shorter adult. A shorter av with no musculature and a more curved face shape, making themselves look under age is what people generally have the issue with.


  2. Spike Clémenceau-Silent
    February 3, 2012

    I am sorry, but judging someone who conducts himself as an adult, has an adult skin and adult clothes, but has chosen to be skinny and not overly muscular or to be faithful to RL height standards, hence generalizing is wrong by concept. We welcome everyone in our club, but we can all tell the difference between an adult short avatar and someone entertaining age play… asking on IM or checking the profile before jumping to conclusions always helps

  3. Gregster
    February 3, 2012

    I agree with you Spike.

    There are some people with shorter avs who wear adult clothes, have adult body proportions (irrespective of build), adult skins etc. These people are adults.

    There are others who have avatars of short height who wear skins that make them look under 18 (lack of muscular definition anywhere being one feature typical of such skins) along with shapes that have an adolescent physique (softer facial structure being another typical feature of such shapes). When an avatar has been designed to look under 18 and is also short, they should not be surprised when Adult sims say that they look too young.

    The issue isn't simply related to height. In the real world you get adolescents who are as tall as adults, but still appear underage – this is also true in SL.

    I can also think of a number of very clearly adult avatars on my friends list who are short. In RL one of my good friends is under 5' but still normally proportioned and very clearly an adult.

    What all Adult Sim owners need to ensure their security function is aware of is what defines “an adult”. Avatars who genuinely look and act 18-early 20s should not be getting turned away or made to feel unwelcome, irrespective of their height. Avatars that clearly look under 18 should expect to be queried (in the same way that young people are asked for ID when buying alcohol) if adult activities are/could be taking place. If an avatar is clearly a child they should be asked to leave.

  4. Gregster
    February 3, 2012

    Regarding your point about the red-haired av you were using last night:
    I didn't know your friend, so didn't IM him. He was walking back and forth quite a lot so was probably out of chat range when I said “Hi” in chat.
    You on the other hand crashed 3 times while I was trying to say hello to you in IM, and I had left the sim by the time you stabilised. What I was going to ask you about was nothing to do with the height of your avatar, but to do with the way that he was dressed which was totally different from the style I am used to seeing Spike in.

  5. Gregster
    February 3, 2012

    n.b. 5'7″ to 6' may be a normal height range in RL, but in SL we have a minimum dimension when building of 1cm (2 fifths of an inch), meaning for avatars to be in scale with the surroundings they need to be somewhat larger than their RL height.
    My av is not the tallest around, but fits in the range of SL heights available at around the same place on the scale as my RL height does into the range of heights of adult males in RL.

  6. Spike Clémenceau-Silent
    February 3, 2012

    Concerning the friends comment, I visited several sims and I was not referring to you specifically, I did visit areas where I am well known and stumbled upon people who simply chose to ignore me and my friend, a simple hi would have sufficed. Concerning the avatar heights and anyone looking like adults… Sora and a few other friends, not tall and not muscular enough have been asked to leave from the sims I have mentioned, and trust me they do not act and look like children… it's all about choices, choices these people have made and do follow TOS, the rest is sim owners being judgemental and narrow minded

  7. Minnie K.Conlin
    February 11, 2012

    You actually make it appear really easy with your presentation but I to find this matter to be actually one thing that I feel I might never understand. It seems too complicated and very vast for me. I am looking ahead to your subsequent publish, I'll try to get the hang of it!

  8. Spike Clémenceau-Silent
    February 11, 2012

    It IS easy, labeling people and / or treating them differently by their choice of looks is shallow, judgmental and wrong -or at least that's how I see it-

  9. posiden
    March 17, 2013

    is any of u wesley herbert if so please im me in sl my name is cheshboi resident please if ur wesley please i need to know if ur ok

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This entry was posted on February 3, 2012 by in communities, height, lifestyle, Most visited, roleplay, Second Life, sizes, SPIKE CLEMENCEAU, twinks.

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