Sex and Second Life

This site is a true reflection of my comings and goings within the virtual platform known as Second Life, it is mostly my first person recollections of anything happening. Enjoy the read and do follow and share if you liked what you found

Noise

beatenToday I am taking some time before heading to work, to make a post about something that has been floating around my head for quite a few days, ever since I saw a video post on facebook about a noise disturbance experiment someone did in Johannesburg and which literally… gave me the chills -embedded video below-, so yes the post today is indeed about abuse.

Now, the regular person would think that physical abuse cannot really be an issue in second life, after all you are sheltered safely in the comfort of your own home and have complete control over your avatar, environment and so on, but in some cases this statement is far from the truth; an abusive partner in SL can be even more dangerous, true it won’t cause you any physical harm or cost you your life when you are severely beaten by your partner again and again, but psychological abuse can be just as bad.

I have had my share of abusive relationships in SL and as funny as this may sound, getting out of one can be really complicated, since you are constantly excusing your partner for the temper tantrum or occasional verbal bullying aimed in your direction, both times I was only able to get myself out of them and look after myself and my own happiness with the help of those around me, who provided support and help when I needed it the most, and this is why the video experiment is so unsettling.

Abuse does not know of age, creed or gender; statistically speaking women are in the majority, but men can be on the receiving end and most of the times more often than you think. Since identifying it in SL can be so complex, specially when you are pretty much blinded by love, here are a few signs to look for:

If someone is forced to change her behaviour because they are frightened of their partner then this person is being abused.  If they are experiencing any of the following then it’s likely that they are being abused:

  • Is he/she jealous and possessive?
  • Does he/she cut her/him off from family and friends and try to isolate her?
  • Is he/she charming one minute and abusive the next? Does he/she have sudden changes of mood  – like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde?
  • Does he/she control her/his life – for example, her/his money, who he/she should see, what he/she should wear?
  • Does he/she monitor her movements?
  • Does he/she blame her/him for the abuse?
  • Does he/she humiliate or insult her/him in front of others?
  • Does he/she verbally abuse her?
  • Does he/she constantly criticise her?
  • Does he/she use anger and intimidation to frighten her/him and make her/him comply with his/her demands?
  • Does he/she tell her/him they’re useless and couldn’t cope without him/her?
  • Has he/she threatened to hurt her/him or people close to her/him if she/he leaves?
  • Does he/she change her/his behaviour to avoid making him/her angry?
  • Does he/she force her to have sex when she/he doesn’t want to?
  • Does he/she withdraws sex as a form of punishment?

Seek help, there are many support group online to help you get out of that destructive relationship and start looking after yourself, a good place to start is this page: Psych Central. Change starts as soon as you are willing to help yourself, not a minute later or earlier, and if you know of anyone suffering an abusive relationship, don’t be a silent accomplice -like the people in the video-, ignoring abuse because it simply is not “your business” makes you as guilty as the person providing the beating.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls 

Send Spike Clémenceau-Silent
an email at: spike.clemenceau@gmail.com

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