Sex and Second Life

This site is a true reflection of my comings and goings within the virtual platform known as Second Life, it is mostly my first person recollections of anything happening. Enjoy the read and do follow and share if you liked what you found

The Naked Truth

DragonThere are all sorts of people in SL, as varied and complex as there are types in RL too, with the difference that you have to start from the simple notion that everything you see in SL is a lie, is make believe, a fabrication of someone’s imagination and it all comes with the territory of it being a user created environment, your name, your overall look, the skin you choose and the hair color you choose for your avatar to wear, something that most tend to forget once they get really immersed in the experience; one of the things I love about SL however is not only the fact it all is a lie, but the surprising fact that among all of the creativity oozing from everyone’s heads to shape and form the world around them, you are able to form real bonds, real friendships and even create families out of thin air, based on your interaction with them and the experiences shared.

That is why I consider myself and my entire experience in that second home of ours, to be a positive one with all of its ups and downs, because despite all of the negative along the way, it has shown me who my true friends are and that not all shiny and attractive is necessarily good for you; that honesty is always the best policy, even if the truth might not be what people want to hear but at least you have come out of whatever situation you are faced with the truth in your lips and your head held high. I spent most of my lazy Sunday afternoon, shining some light on FACTS involving people me and my best friend Ralphie –super link to his awesome blog here– share in common, and even thought I can’t lie, most of the time I have learnt to keep my mouth shut, as it does not benefit anyone to bring things from the past about anyone, unless you are preventing them from going through the same bad things that happened to you.

When it comes to dating and relationships however, how much of the truth is too much and how much of a silence and things left unsaid are necessarily considered lies by omission? In my particular case and by the way my brain is wired and responds to the world around me, 80 % of the time I am unable to lie, so the truth comes spurting out, something that has caused me issues in the past with friends and partners alike and a fact my kids have grown up and learnt to live with, based on the simple principle that honesty is always the best principle, but you can always be polite and tone down the truth, a practice that my partner Hiro loves and has come to master.

We have based our entire interaction as a couple on the principle that I can’t lie and he must reciprocate, even if it’s toned down to be easily digested by me, this comes to sex, our feelings, plans for the future and so on, but how much is too much? and how do others couple do it?, I have friends who base their entire relationship on the fact that they tell their partners what they want to hear, stroke their ego and show support, even forgetting their own well-being and desires in the process, because it simply makes them happy to make others -or their partner- happy; the whole 1950s devoted wife or life companion mentality might have worked for our grandparents who didn’t know better, but I don’t think it’s the healthiest option and always leaves one of the two partners eternally dissatisfied and before you know it, the best years of your life have gone by enabling your partner’s idea of happiness, often placed first and foremost above yours.

I may be wrong and the naked truth policy might not be the best option for your particular case, but I’ve always felt that life is too short to waste what little time you have working on something that at the end of the day, is only an illusion fabricated by your own efforts and denial -this specially true not only for partners but also friends-, and the funny thing about illusions and lies, they eventually fade away or are exposed to the light of the truth.

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This entry was posted on June 9, 2014 by in relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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