Sex and Second Life

This site is a true reflection of my comings and goings within the virtual platform known as Second Life, it is mostly my first person recollections of anything happening. Enjoy the read and do follow and share if you liked what you found

Compromise

Morning timeOf the many things people strive to find in SL, as incredible as it may seem a soul-mate seems to be on everyone’s priority list right there among the top 5, a stable linden income, professional fulfillment and some type of recognition on your chosen field. I remember during my noob days, those first few months on which I explored and got familiar with my new clan / family, I was introduced to this guy friend of a friend, who was in a different clan as mine -remember back in the day I truly thought people lived their lives in clans and those who didn’t simply roamed the grid looking for sex- and was about to marry the king of his line, which would make him the royal consort.

Being unfamiliar with SL relationships and weddings as a whole, I found the concept so foreign and artificial that I could not help but silently nod and smile, truly thinking that no one on their right minds would seriously do such a thing or consider a pixel wedding as something as real as having a life partner or spouse in RL; I was later introduced that year to a straight guy openly playing a woman -his wife insisted on it so he would not cheat on her with other women online- who was about to marry a straight guy who was fully aware of him being a guy in RL, but who had fallen in love with the person his soon to be wife played, a meeting that proved to me that people took this whole online relationship thing a bit more seriously than what I was initially willing to give it credit.

Then time went by and as I developed bonds and relationships in SL, I found myself on the end of the marriage ceremonies and even went through with them twice, and after my second marriage ending so badly, I promised myself I would never have another wedding or force my friends and family to attend a ceremony of something that would probably not see an anniversary; then the strangest thing happened, Hiro came along -we eloped- and everything has been a smooth ride ever since; sure, we have had our ups and downs and an argument here and there, but we have found the perfect formula for a long lasting relationship in-world, which has taken some work and room for compromises.

We have tried our best to keep it as simple and open as possible, giving each other space and time to explore our own projects, be supportive of each other if needed be and enough freedom to sleep around if we must and still come back to each other’s loving arms at the end of the day, but as years go by and our lives intertwine, I’ve found myself making room for compromise on things that I don’t necessarily enjoy but I know he does, or taking an interest in new areas and things he’s passionate about and it is reciprocal, this had me wondering recently however, how much of yourself gets lost and changes in a relationship when you make room for those compromises or evolves in those new areas you have taken an interest in? and is this a bad thing? Is it necessarily bad to loose your individuality as a single person and become a “we” / “they”?

I personally believe that you can still be an amazing team or even a power couple, without loosing your individuality and that is the main reason why I think our marriage works; we enjoy our time together, have a solid friendship and an honest channel of communication and we know for a fact that no matter what, we have each other and nothing will change that. I don’t know if we will be a couple for as long as I live but what I do know is that the minute we end it and stop being a “we” to become single units again it will not take much of an effort, you don’t need to compromise your individuality to be happy or make the other person you are with happy.

If anything life has taught me along the way is that sharing your life with a person doesn’t mean you will slowly stop being yourself and shy away your friends and activities, whoever loves you and wishes to share their life with you should want you, not a potential copy of themselves, self gratification has a name and is called masturbation, not marriage.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Send Spike Clémenceau-Silent
an email at: spike.clemenceau@gmail.com

2 comments on “Compromise

  1. doodle god
    September 14, 2014

    magnificent points altogether, you just gained
    a emblem new reader. What may you recommend about your post that
    you made a few days in the past? Any sure?

    • Spike
      September 14, 2014

      Which post? Could you name the article? Glad you enjoyed the blog

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