“The list is life” said a tv character once, on one of my favorite shows at the time -now cancelled- about a list that was made at the beginning of every school year to nominate quite publicly, who had been and most likely would be the genuine poster child of each chosen category; people feared yet waited for it in anticipation, because in fact it would give you guidelines on what to do, who to do and where to do it. I have never been a great fan of doing what people expect of me or following lists, but after my many years of dating I figured it would not hurt -specially so in SL- to gather a top 10 list of guys to avoid in SL -odd also applicable in RL-
So here it goes, my small contribution for a dating world in need of a bit of help.
10. The Relationship-hollic: His idea of bliss is being in a relationship and cannot simply imagine life without being with a significant other; good for a quick roll in the hay when you do manage to catch him in between boyfriends -if that is ever possible-, this guy gets married in SL so often that not many people take his weddings seriously anymore.
9. The intimacy-phobic: Loves love but doesn’t really want to be tied up or really involved with anyone, will tell you exactly what you want to hear to get into your pants and that’s about it, the good thing about this one is that he will be upfront and honest about him not wanting to be tied up -that is until he finally meets another one like him-.
8. The Friendzoner: We all have, or have had a friend like this: there is very intense chat, cuddles, he knows each and every one of your darkest secrets but for some reason it never gets past that, because he doesn’t want to risk the friendship you two have or another golden excuse like that, don’t hold your breath and move on quickly as he means it -even if there is sex- once you are in the friendzone… you stay in the friendzone.
7. The bumblebee: Wham Bam, thank you ma’am is his catch phrase; this guy has the attention span of a goldfish and his idea of guys in SL is simply and purely quick and easy sex. he will possibly friend you, fake a crash when he finally cums and never speak to you again – and maybe even avoid you as if you had some sort of disease.
6. The Gender-bender: Straight women who pretend to be gay men in SL is something as old as the scriptures, but you don’t know how horrible the whole thing can be for you until you have experienced it; he is the perfect guy until things get serious, then he comes clean expecting you to love them no matter what -and keep the secret-.
5. The Adonis: He is the fairest of them all and has possibly spent a good amount of money looking that good, but his looks are as amazing as his inflated ego; even if you manage to end up dating this guy, don’t get yourself fooled, no one will replace his one and true love, himself.
4. The Psycho: Crazy at its finest, he will seem to be the perfect guy for you and then manipulate you the minute things get serious. This one is a master of twisting and bending the truth and you won’t even notice how far deep the rabbit hole you are until it is too late.
3. 007: His mission, to lead several alternate lives in different accounts; don’t ask me how he manages to keep a serious relationship on each one, but he does. This one is also known for being a gold digger so careful there, if it looks fishy, it probably is fish.
2. The Master: With insane and huge self confidence issues, he comes to SL to collect and gather people, make himself a nice little harem of boys he can manipulate, dress and undress or drag around like pets and have sex with whenever he feels like, for him men are like pokemons, you got to collect them all.
1. The English Patient: This one makes the top 1 as I feel it is the most horrendous and main one to avoid, he is always sick, or terminally ill and will have you cater to his every whim and wish based on the fact he is dying of some horrendous disease like cancer or a heart condition.
Feel free to comment below if I left anyone out, but in my own personal experience, these would be the top 10 to avoid at all costs.
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