A few weeks ago, shortly before Christmas, I heard of some really life changing issues my friend Caitlin -who posed for my picture- was going through and despite how much I wanted to help, it was beyond my reach, so I was only left with having her in my thoughts and hoping for the best, which would mean she would be brought back to us in SL when all was sorted.
I could easily relate to what she was going through, as I was pretty much in a similar position when I moved to the UK a couple of years ago, with two bags, 3 boxes and a head full of hopes and dreams; getting started from scratch in a foreign country with no family and no friends was not easy but somehow I kept pushing forward until things started happening and I haven’t looked back ever since, at least not with regret.
Glossing over the very personal details, I had been in a very committed relationship for 7 years, with a person I pretty much thought I would spend the rest of my life with, but life had other plans; Do I regret having spent so much time with a person that in the end was quick to toss me aside the minute things got difficult? no, for a large part of our years together we were very happy and the break up taught me a good number of valuable lessons when it comes to human nature and relationships.
Then a few days ago my husband -yes funnily enough I moved on-, decided to share on a blog post -quick link here- his personal outlook on long term relationships and happiness as a whole, which made me wonder if I am now in that infectious happiness known as “cloud 9”, where we loose all perspective and can’t see past our lover’s wishes and plans, and I can safely say I am not.
What life has taught me through life changing issues, breakups, heartaches and all of the fun drama that comes with it, is that at the end of the day the one person you must count with and make plans with is yourself, I do not share that notion where couples get together and start planning, shifting their lives, making compromises and doing things “for two”, maybe I have had my innocence stolen, or maybe it is the Buddhist in me, but I tend to face one day at a time and take it from there.
Eventually I found a new job I enjoy doing with people who appreciate me, started a new life elsewhere, got a new circle of friends and kept a few old ones being reminded day by day that nothing in life is permanent, and if in a time of need, the person I chose to be my partner cannot show support or decides to end things because it is the easiest way out, at least I know where I stand.
Whenever I was sad or frustrated with life or friends, my father would hold my face and say, “Always remember you are sparkly bubbly champagne and you deserve to be treated like nothing less”, if your friend, ex or partner cannot see it, then you are better off.
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