Sex and Second Life

This site is a true reflection of my comings and goings within the virtual platform known as Second Life, it is mostly my first person recollections of anything happening. Enjoy the read and do follow and share if you liked what you found

Abuse

B1_USAG_Domestic-Violence-Awareness_Logo_WI have been debating for a while whether to post this or not, and decided to get up-close and personal and share a few experiences of my last year, regarding my disability and my past relationships. For those out there reading still not aware I suffer from what it is referred to as Asperger’s syndrome, and was diagnosed when I was 19, but it was never something -even after that- I was willing to share with others or look for support as I pretty much had quite a grasp on how my brain worked and how to handle things around me, but did not fully understand it all and how it worked, at least not enough to come out and publicly exchange my thoughts and feelings on the matter with others, this is until I came to second life.

SL for me has been quite a journey, one which has brought the best and worst of my personality and has taught me to not only survive in RL but on how to socialize appropriately or even identify voice tones and facial expressions; that has not been my greatest challenge to date though, the greatest mystery when it comes to the Asperger’s brain is how your memory works, you cannot really rely on short term memory and I daily face difficulties remembering people’s names -at work I laugh it off claiming I cannot be bothered-, street names, birthdays or phone numbers, but if you ask me to recall something that happen years ago, I can pretty much relive the experience with an unsettling number of details -as if playing a movie inside my head-, specially if such memory is associated to a recent event or person.

The strangest thing about the aspie’s brain has to be its defense mechanism, we can very easily “replace” disturbing memories with made up ones and it actually works much better than therapy, but this is that is mostly done for your benefit and most of the actual facts remain intact, about a year ago after what I thought was an adverse reaction to my medication I lost a good lot of my past four years in SL, and it was not something that happened at once but rather gradually, as if my brain was slowly wiping unpleasant memories but forgetting to replace them with new ones as it has a habit of doing, to the point where I see old pictures of my “past life” and it all feels foreign to me, only able to recall bit and pieces here and there

The reason and logic behind this could be pretty much the ongoing number of domestic abuse I suffered since my first relationship in SL and all throughout, coming from either friends and family or partners and my insisting optimism on excusing everybody and reinforcing the denial that I was either enduring things “for a good reason”, “for the greater good” or because so and so it’s just like that but he or she means well. This article and my finally coming clean about what happened and how I may not be able to fully recall your name or who you were to the old Spike, came after watching a Super Bowl ad about a woman ordering pizza, which triggered a number of personal memories and emotions about my past four years in SL I had thought were long gone and lost in my memory void.

Domestic violence and abuse is very real, it happens to everyone, it is not a joke and it will not go away just because we choose to ignore it; speak up, report it or seek help if you are suffering abuse, there are a lot of support groups and life in freedom and with the right person it’s worth living and much better than making excuses expecting things to change or improve because we are afraid of change or the repercussions.

My life has turned itself around ever since I decided to live for myself and I am sharing it with the greatest man I have ever met, who also happens to be my best friend, a happy ending it’s possible, you just need to get up and let go of anything causing you harm, no matter how difficult it may seem.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Send Spike Clémenceau-Silent
an email at: spike.clemenceau@gmail.com

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This entry was posted on January 30, 2015 by in society and tagged , , , , , , , .

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